Good evening. On December 16th...
...we lost our dear friend and colleague, John Spencer.
Through our shock and grief...
...we can think of no more fitting memorial to this wonderful man...
...this extraordinary actor, than to share with you, beginning tonight...
...the last few months of his work here on The West Wing.
Johnny, it seems we hardly knew you. We love you and we miss you.
Previously on The West Wing:
You're looking at the next vice president.
Or the next front-runner for the Republican nomination for president.
- Do you own a tux? - Excuse me?
I mean, I was just gonna go stag, but if you're not busy later.
There's been an incident in Kazakhstan.
The protests in Alma-Ata turned violent and Tarimov sent in police.
- Any casualties? - Could be up to 200, many Chinese.
- What's this? - That's Leo's approval rating.
Don't worry. It's not like he's a drag on the ticket.
I've been at this a while. I don't need babysitting.
Just because you've trained a jockey...
...doesn't mean you know how to sit a horse.
- So how are you? - Indicted. You?
Health care in this country's a mess. Wait.
It's "health care is broken." "Mess" is better.
"Broken" is what we have a line for, but we should work the word "mess" in.
Let's start again.
Health care's a mess. The system is broken. "Broke"?
- "Broken." it's what they agreed on. - I'm sorry.
- No, no. - Sorry.
- What'd you say? - "Broken." Sets up the bite better.
Health care in this country is broken.
And the Republican Congress' attitude is...
"Seems to be"? "Is." "Is" is stronger.
The Republican Congress...
"Congressional Republicans"?
The Republican Congress' attitude is, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
"Is broke." I can't believe. I screwed it up.
- Idiot! I screwed the line up. - Leo, it's all right.
The Republican Congress' attitude seems to be...
"Is."
The Republican Congress' attitude is, "If it is broke, don't fix it."
- No, wait. - No, that's it.
Really?
Hallelujah. Anybody got a cigarette?
- We just started. - I know.
I'd like to smoke it, then have someone shoot me.
- I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. That's what this is for.
- Let's keep going. - Governor Sullivan, your response.
Mr. McGarry keeps falling back on the same trick.
When it's something good that's happened...
...he touts his service in the White House.
When it's something he disapproves of, he lays the blame on the Congress.
Now I submit that if the health-care system is broken...
...it happened on his watch.
If your repairman can't fix something after eight years of trying...
...I think the American people realize it's time to try someone else.
Mr. McGarry?
- Mr. McGarry? - I need...
Boy, that's a good answer. I'm gonna need...
This broke thing's a trap, isn't it?
I'm just leading... I'm leading with my chin here.
These canned... These pre-canned...
Can we take a break?
Yeah, Josh. About the VP debate Sunday...
...we may have a problem.
He understands it's his last trip home till the election, right?
- No idea, does he? - Let me put it another way.
- Tell him this is his last trip home. - You didn't tell him?
- Not in so many words. - In any words?
- Tell me what? - Josh says this is your last trip home.
- Donna! - What?
Some deftness. A little finesse.
- I know. - He knows.
- That's not the point. - Tell Josh to chill.
- Josh, chill. - Did you just tell me to chill?
- It would appear so. - Is it not clear that I'm your boss?
Congressman 's recommendation.
- Which I heartily concur. - I don't think you'd tell me to chill.
I wanted to scream it for eight years.
Whatever inhibition prevented you, summon it.
- It's here. - I gotta go.
- How does Lou look? - Like always.
- Be butch on me, but Lou makes it work. - Does she look happy? Worried?
- "Stricken" might be the word. - Hyperbole, right?
Your predilection for panic and exaggeration?
I don't have a predilection...
For this moment, let's stipulate that you do.
- Is it really that bad? - No. It's worse.
Why won 't you and Congressman Santos pledge not to raise taxes?
- Because it's a lie. - Is my opponent calling us liars?
The American people want the services government provides.
They cost money and have to be paid for.
We're running unacceptable deficits as it is.
- He gets better, yes? - This is the high-water mark.
Switch it off.
It's irresponsible to tell voters they can get something for nothing.
What?
Sullivan's a killer. He did what he had to do.
- The rest of it's really that bad? - Watch it.
- Can you fix it? - Have to. The debate's in two days.
Anybody who breathes a word of this...
...I will devise a punishment that would make Torquemada blanch.
- Why not leak it? - Play the expectations game.
That doesn't work when you lower expectations and your guy meets them.
Yeah? Yeah.
It's Leo, line two.
- Hey. - Hey.
- So? - I never got to see it.
The machine ate the tape.
- You didn't see any of it? - No. The damn thing just fried.
Smoke and everything. It was gonna set off the sprinklers.
That's the only copy? I'd love to review it.
- Yeah, it's the only copy. - That's too bad.
- So, what was the report? - It was good.
You know, some bumps in spots.
Things to work on. That's what debate prep is for.
- We'll fine-tune tomorrow. - Yeah.
Get some rest.
Need you to look pretty for 20 million TV viewers.
If that's what we're counting on, campaign's doomed.
See you tomorrow.
Let them set up. We want pictures.
- "The candidate's return." - Reconnecting to his photogenic family.
Because God forbid any normal human behavior should go unpoliticized.
Vinick's kids are approaching menopause.
We wanna get some footage of your young children...
...hugging their hale and vital dad.
- "Vital." - A subliminal reminder that actuarially...
...you're less likely to keel over than your esteemed opponent.
- They're set. - On the lawn. Makes a prettier picture.
Hey! Hey, how you doing? How you doing, buddy?
- What's happening? - Take it easy. He's not feeling well.
- Oh, really? What's wrong, buddy? - Got a cold.
- Oh, thank you for that gift. - Oh, sweetheart.
- Hey, sweetie. - Welcome home, Daddy.
Oh, thank you, angel. It's good to be home.
- My throat's scratchy. - Okay.
- Hi. - How are you?
A touch of Ebola, but I think I'm over it.
- Okay. Hi, guys. How's it going? - Hi.
They're looking over their shoulder.
Yeah, we've got movement in Illinois, solidifying nicely in New Jersey.
- Trending well in Florida. - Mention Illinois.
Thing is definitely tightening up.
Yeah, well, fortunately there's nothing less impactful than the VP debate.
I shouldn't hurt us too bad. Okay, Bob. Talk to you soon.
When I was in business, all we talked was politics.
Now that I'm running for office, all I talk is money.
- Shake some loose? - We'll see.
- So? How'd I do? - The mock debate?
I don't think I have the standing to critique the substance.
Artful dodge. Uncharacteristic...
...your usual conversational mode tending more toward blunt instrument.
- On style, then. - Oh, that was horrible.
- There's the cudgel. - We can relax your posture...
...relocate the voice, corral that fidgeting and knock some years off.
Not again with the Botox.
Hair-and-makeup room, man's best friend.
- Plan to spend time there. - It's a hair-and-makeup room...
...it's not a time machine. - None of this is your problem.
You're gonna tell me what is.
- Your smirk. - My what?
- Yeah, you're doing it now. - No, I'm not.
- It's your default expression, Leo. - What are you talk...?
That's a scowl. I'm scowling, which is, in itself, probably not great.
- That's the way my mouth forms. - From decades of smirking.
In the right context, extremely effective. Commanding, reassuring...
...even devastatingly sexy. - Sexy?
In the right context. In a debate...
...under the best of circumstances, it reads as smug and condescending.
In a context where you're getting waxed by your opponent...
...it comes off as clueless, defensive and not a little pathetic.
You seem to have graduated from cudgel to bludgeon.
- But we're gonna fix it. - Are we?
- Now you're scowling again. - Wonder why.
"Mr. McGarry, can you explain why...
...after eight years of the Bartlet presidency...
...health-care costs have exploded?" - Three words:
The Republican Congress.
Now, that calls for a little smirk as underlining, punctuation...
It depends. Wanna come off as wise or wiseass?
- I wasn't done. - Finish.
Give the Santos-McGarry administration...
The whole thing. "Why has the cost of health care exploded under Bartlet?" Go.
Three little words: The Republican Congress.
Give the Santos-McGarry administration a Democratic Congressional majority...
...we'll bring health-care costs under control our first year in office.
- You're doing it again. - I am not.
Leo...
...what's this?
- Wanna lose those clear to the knuckle? - I wanna see this. Not this.
What my life has come to.
It wouldn't kill you to throw in specifics.
Thought you didn't do content.
Hey, you looking for me?
If you've got a minute, can you brief me on Kazakhstan?
The press is starting to ask more questions.
- Sure. What do you wanna know? - Has a deal been struck?
- Classified. - So if there was, details would be...?
- Also classified. - Lf there was a deal. Which is...
- Classified. - Have elections been rescheduled?
- In Kazakhstan? - That's our subject.
Also classified, though I can't imagine why.
- You're enjoying this. - Not really, no.
Have the parties agreed to U.N. Monitors in the election...
...that may be rescheduled? - Classified.
- You're just playing with me now. - I'm not.
Is the subject of monitors being discussed?
- It's in the papers. - They didn't hear it from us.
So it's being considered? Debated? Negotiated?
- Anywhere by anyone? - I'm so sorry.
Makes you feel powerful. "I am woman, hear me withhold."
- It's not like that. - A little.
- At moments. - This moment?
- A bit. - It's disturbingly compelling.
- What's that say about you? - Nothing good.
- Thank you for all the illuminating help. - Anytime.
Nice to be home. I need a little semblance of normalcy.
- Normalcy ain't what it used to be. - Helen, I'm sorry about all this.
Small price to pay to have you home.
So the Secret Service guys, they're okay if they stay outside?
- It's fine. - All the neighbors...
...they're all right with the guys posted around the house?
Are you kidding? They now live on the safest block in America.
- Did you wanna go somewhere? - Gonna get the mail.
We'll need a few minutes to shut down the street.
- To walk to the mailbox? - Any time you go into the front yard.
- We really need to get into all that? - I'm afraid so, sir.
It's okay. It's... Never mind.
We'll get someone to retrieve the mail for you.
- Fine. - Then it'll need to be screened.
Do whatever you have to do.
What's that noise?
Those are our vehicles. We keep their engines running.
- Neighbors must love that. - Yes, sir.
"McGarry Debate Debacle"? Where did he get this?
Who knows how they get it.
Considering he has all the gory details, I'd have to say it was from one of us.
- Don't say "us." You mean "you." - I didn't leak anything.
I'm this far from ordering polygraph tests.
Nobody mention this to Leo. His confidence is shaky.
- Hey. - You see this?
I heard something about it, yeah.
Let's get started.
We evidently have some work to do.
We discount this blog report as the transparent ploy it so obviously is.
We expect Leo McGarry to be a formidable debate opponent.
Off the record...
...I think you can sum up the mood here at headquarters as "yippee."
Yeah. Thanks, Harv.
Everyone's got it.
- God bless the Internet. - It giveth and it taketh away.
It's giving with both hands on this baby.
Well, let's not be overconfident.
The best thing about being warned about overconfidence...
...it means you have a hell of a reason to feel pretty confident.
I'm not gonna be lulled by this. McGarry is verbal and tough.
It's one thing to argue behind the scenes.
It's another ball game doing it in a debate setting.
Concerned about presentation, tone...?
- Clarity. - Concision.
It's hard for veteran politicians, let alone a neophyte like McGarry.
- Leo's no neophyte. - At being a candidate he is.
You can go balls to the wall all you like in private with the president.
Try doing that in public, on TV.
- Scares the horses. - We go in just as hard...
...just as strong, just as focused. - You'll wipe the floor with him.
That was my plan, regardless.
- Lf he's that bad, you wanna dial it back. - Don't want me to look like a bully?
Trick is to beat his brains in without making people sorry for him.
Let's get to work.
- What speech am I giving? - Plus the fundraising appeal?
- Modified stump. - Modified?
- Shorter. - Less filling, tastes great.
- Hopefully. - It's Houston. These people know you.
- They're sick of hearing me talk. - Conceivably.
Thank you for your support.
Can anybody speak Spanish here?
You wanna spend less time telling them what they know...
...more time looking them in the eye and asking them for cash.
We count on a squirm factor.
I could just hold them upside down, give them a good shake.
- We may be after more than they have. - It's Houston, you never know.
- It's all about the dinero. - That's money, right?
Hey, remember, we're trying to build confidence, so hold back a little.
This is only useful if it's real. Don't hold back.
Ready?
- Where's the camera? - No taping.
- The people who need to see it are here. - No, for my own edification, review.
- Don't need you too self-conscious. - No split focus.
We want you to concentrate on your performance, not your forehead.
Your forehead's gorgeous. Actually making me hot.
Let's get started.
Mr. McGarry, the United States refuses to recognize...
...the U.N. International Criminal Court's jurisdiction as it applies to itself...
...yet seems to expect the world to submit to that body's legal authority.
- Isn't this arrogant and hypocritical? - Yes.
Congressional withholding of recognition of the ICC...
...has been one of the factors contributing to growing resentment...
...toward the United States.
And I know the argument on the other side.
Because the U.S. Takes a leading role in military interventions overseas...
...it leaves itself especially vulnerable...
...to potentially illegitimate legal claims...
...motivated solely by ideological or political animus...
...with no countervailing checks or balances.
But to get back to our position.
The ICC requires the participation...
...to have true legitimacy, of the world's remaining superpower, sole remaining...
Time.
Lou?
Okay, that was good.
You spent more time laying out the other side's position rather than your own.
- I felt that. - Yeah?
Good. And the language was a bit dense.
- Dense? - Help me out here.
- "Dense" is good. - Could be more plainspoken.
- That's it. - Plainspoken, exactly.
Plainspoken.
- Will! Will! - Yes, Steve.
Do you have an update on Kazakhstan?
- Things seem to be in a holding pattern. - Seem to be?
I have no information to the contrary.
Has a deal been reached to keep Chinese troops from crossing their borders?
- Not that I'm aware of at this time. - Is one being negotiated?
- Couldn't say. - But you could say?
I should have said I have no knowledge...
...of whether an agreement is being discussed.
Are you just obfuscating here?
Luckily for all of you, if perhaps not so much for the administration...
...should it ever come to that, I couldn't possibly pull it off this convincingly.
If we're on the brink of war, this won't seem so amusing.
In that event, one might assume we'd all have more pressing concerns.
- Will! - Mark.
- There you are. - We finally finished...
...revising those stimulus numbers based upon that CBO package.
Is that what you were doing? All I heard was people laughing.
- Well, we enjoy each other's company. - Yeah, evidently.
There a problem?
Just that when you said you were coming home...
...I got the idea that you'd spend time with the kids.
- I played with them this morning. - Practically handling them with tongs.
I didn't want to get in their faces.
They have colds. It's unlikely you'll start bleeding from the eyes.
I'm in the middle of a presidential campaign.
- That's where you've been nights. - I know it's been rough.
The kids being issued panic buttons...
...and the house transformed into an armed camp?
Bit of an exaggeration.
The windows in here look any different?
No, not really.
Yeah, it's amazing the natural look they can achieve now with bulletproof glass.
Labor Day, the barbecue...
...I had to provide everybody's names, Social Security numbers, birthdates.
To have a hot dog, everyone had to be issued ID pins.
My mother walking around tagged like she was some threatening wacko.
If you're considering this an opportunity to crack a mother-in-law joke...
...you are seriously misjudging the mood of your audience.
I had a real good one too.
Yeah, what?
Too late.
I'm sorry.
Tomorrow will be better.
Hey, think about the neat place we get to live in once we win this thing.
- My throat's really hurting. - Oh, sweetie.
- Come here, honey. - I'll handle it.
- What's wrong, angel? - I want Mommy.
- Okay. - Come here, baby.
Yeah, you're a little warm.
- Let's go take your temperature, okay? - Okay.
Okay, honey. Come here.
Given the vice president's role as one who could be called upon...
... to assume the presidency...
... what's your response to concern about your medical history?
I'd say the house speaker shouldn't skip any checkups.
- He can't be flippant. - I thought it was funny.
- Defusing. - Sullivan will jump all over it.
Do an aria about the responsibility of succession.
- He'll look like an idiot. - Leo will sound like he could care less.
How can we help him if we can't even agree?
- He never knew we were taping? - Nope.
- Nice job. - Lipstick cameras.
- Use these at home for your pleasure? - Wouldn't you like to know.
- Not really, no. - Should we cancel?
- The debate? - It's the right question.
It would be saying we were worried about him looking bad.
Better than him in fact looking bad.
We don't cancel. We keep working. Do another practice session tomorrow.
- Tomorrow is the debate. - Is it? Really?
Gee, slipped my mind.
Okay, guys, thank you. You can go.
He'll be fine.
- Acceptable. - I'll take anything over "train wreck."
- Yeah? - Hey.
Congressman, how'd the event go?
Asking people who've already given money to give more money?
- You gotta be shameless. - It's shameful how shameless you get.
- What are you up to? - Cramming.
I know the feeling.
Karmic retribution for every candidate I ever glibly told, "Just work harder."
- You saw the blog report. - Don't let that worry you, Leo.
Every time you and I argue policy, you kick my ass.
- Hardly. - Piece of advice?
- Please. - Don 't let those advisers mess you up.
That well-intentioned counsel can get you so self-conscious...
...you can't remember your shoe size. Trust your instincts.
- You have a practice session tomorrow? - Yeah.
Blow it off. Go to the movies. Get everybody out of your head.
- How's the homecoming? - Great.
A little reentry problem?
- Little bit. - She right there?
Home with the kids. Miranda's got a fever.
You two will be all right.
My best advice? Don't get on the plane angry.
Says the divorced guy.
- That make the advice better or worse? - No idea.
- Get some rest, huh? - Thanks for calling.
Good luck.
- What are you doing here on a Sunday? - No life. You?
Wait, let me guess. You can't tell me.
- You're getting good at this. - Coffee?
You know, it occurs to me, if you ever used...
And the fact that you haven't earns you cliche-avoidance points.
- The "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" trope...
...you probably actually could. - With my bare hands.
Again, alarmingly alluring.
You do have issues to work on...
...which I tend to find compelling, to my continual misery.
- Really? - Dismayingly so.
I just came by to say that you acquitted yourself well at yesterday's briefing.
- Apocalypse Maybe. - Nimbly done.
- Don't change the subject. - From?
The end of the world as we know it.
I can assure you, Armageddon, not necessarily imminent.
May I communicate same to the White House press?
I can't think why not.
You have the thanks of a grateful communications director.
Though the prospect of the world ending did have one upside.
It gave license to ask whether you might have dinner with me...
...before we and the planet went up in cinders.
Well, that is an opportunity lost.
Though I said it wasn't imminent...
...not that it was out of the range of possibility.
- So then...? - How's tonight?
It's all over that Leo had another bad practice. Somebody's leaking.
- You can't think it's one of us. - You told a friend...
...the friend told The Washington Post. - I haven't spoken to a friend in months.
- I don't have any left. - My friends are in this room.
Okay, you win Most Pathetic.
- Am I interrupting? - Hey. No, no. Not at all.
I'm canceling today's debate prep.
I'm not sure that's the best plan.
Too many voices. Need to clear my head a little.
- We could just make it Josh and me. - Or just Lou. Or me.
- Think I'll do better on my own. - A short session?
- Don't wanna leave it in the locker room. - Right.
- See you all tonight. - Okay.
Bye.
Forget what I was saying. I want you to lower expectations now.
- Beyond what's already there? - Lower. Gopher low. Hades low.
Spinning-iron-core-of-the-planet low. Low.
Between the security sweep, the metal detectors and the perimeter detail...
...that was about the safest Mass performed in America today.
- What's so funny? - Yeah, what's so funny?
Kind of everything.
Did Teddy's father get his gun back?
I don't know, Pete. You're gonna have to ask him.
- What? - All right, kids, get changed.
You had him yesterday. It's the Sabbath, day of rest.
There's something you'll both wanna see.
- What is it? - A photo's hit the papers...
...you're not gonna like. - I've looked worse.
It's not of you.
Think they planted it? Distract from the debate tonight?
Only a man would ask that.
- Beg your pardon? - Sorry, you're right.
Only you.
- It's all over the Internet. - What are we doing about Illinois?
- Not panicking. - Four points up is still up.
- Senator to Chicago and the suburbs... - I go downstate.
Santos ain't playing in Peoria.
- They're talking about canceling. - Who?
- Santos-McGarry. - I hear they're in panic mode.
- That's why you leak this photo. - Stop.
The bar's so low, the only way McGarry looks bad is if he trips over it.
You go do your thing. Just watch out it doesn't look like you're kicking a cripple.
- And we let this man talk to reporters. - What?
This is out of bounds!
I want you to contact every media outlet.
Anyone using this will no longer receive cooperation from this campaign.
- Honey, I'm sorry about this. - I'm...
I guess this is "speechless."
It's trash journalism.
The lowest kind of tabloid stuff. This'll backfire.
They'll only sell out every copy.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Santos.
- I can understand how you feel. - Can you?
What kind of underwear are you wearing right now, Donna?
Put me on the phone with this publisher.
- I'm not sure that's the best... - Put me on with him! Now.
Hey, is this a bad time?
No. You caught me in between arraignments.
- You haven't changed your cell number. - Disappointed to get me?
- No, l... - Somebody dead?
- I've talked to you. - Once every six weeks.
You can set an extremely slow clock by it.
I didn't think you wanted to hear from me.
- I don't feel cut off enough? - I wasn't sure I wanted to talk.
Last time, you were more than usually "assholic."
Is that the reason you're calling?
Because I'm not sure I'm in the ideal head space for a character critique.
Have you seen this stuff about Leo?
- Lowering expectations. - It's not us.
- Really? You mean, he actually...? - Yeah.
News for a day. Not even, with this tattoo thing.
- That was you, right? - No.
Really on top of the information flow.
I think we can do without your usual disparagement of my job performance.
- I just feel like I really screwed up. - It's the VP debate...
...the definition of low impact. - The campaign will survive.
It's... It's Leo.
- He'll survive too. - I put him in this position.
If he embarrasses himself, it's my fault.
- He's a big boy, Josh. - He did this for me, and now...
Now, I put him in this position where he can fail on national TV.
- He did this for you? - You know what I mean.
Leo McGarry did not accept his party's nomination for the vice-presidency...
...because he thought it might make your socks roll up and down.
I just hate to see him struggle. It's not what he deserves.
I can't help if it sounds self-aggrandizing. I feel responsible.
- He's really that bad? - Watch tonight.
Actually, don't watch.
This must all sound pretty trivial.
To someone under indictment? It does concentrate the mind a little.
- How's that going? - Can 't talk about it.
- Too tough? - Legally proscribed.
- Right. - Give yourself a pass on this, Josh.
Yeah.
- I'll talk to you in six weeks. - Election day.
I forget, in D.C., they let felons vote?
Too soon?
Just a little bit.
See you.
I just tore that publisher a new one.
- You okay? - "Okay" may be a bit much to hope for.
- I'm sorry about all this. - It's not your fault.
- In a way. - What are you gonna do?
That shouldn't be a part of all of this.
Everything is a part of this.
If you don't see that, you're not paying attention.
No pizza delivery on the block. Mass starting late...
...so they could mag-wand the choir. The kids getting sick.
- The kids? How are they...? - Dragging them across the country.
Kids whose fathers aren't running for president get colds.
- Well, I'm not gonna do it anymore. - They enjoy it, Helen.
Sitting in hotel rooms, waiting for Daddy?
Can we talk about this when you're not upset?
You should change. You promised Peter you'd throw the football around.
Oh, the minute I've had dinner I'm going to bed.
What you need is to get all dressed up and go out to dinner tonight.
Hey.
You all set for tonight?
I better be.
Got a suit picked out? Tie?
- You here to approve my wardrobe? - No, I'm not...
I'm not worried about that. I'm not worried at all.
Thanks for saying it, at least.
Listen, we should move Rock the Vote up.
It's gonna give Santos his boxers-or-briefs moment.
- Helen should do it with him. - She won't do it. He's pretty pissed.
We make lemonade. We put them both on.
- Youthful, attractive. - Camelot for the 21st century.
- We turn that vote out, we win. - They never come out.
They haven't had anyone like him since Kennedy.
I'll get on it. There's still time to go over stuff for tonight.
- I'm good. - Last-minute review?
I'd rather take it easy. Rest up.
It's gonna be good.
Gonna be what it is.
Okay, well...
- Thanks for coming by. - Yeah, I'll see you there.
Leo's gonna be better than people think. But it's the message, not the messenger.
- Have any twos? - Go fish.
We're gonna score tonight because what we've got to say...
...about this country is forward-looking and inclusive.
Dad!
I have every confidence that when Leo McGarry challenges Ray Sullivan...
...on the issues, he's gonna show that the Vinick campaign's...
...so-called Sensible Solutions are neither sensible nor solutions.
Sorry for the mix-up, Mr. Santos.
Produce ID, pass through a metal detector to enter my brother's house.
We were told you were out of town. That's why you weren't on the list.
Plus, they got my name wrong. It's Jorge. It's not George.
They went with what's on your driver's license.
- Getting it changed. - Hey, you made it after all, huh?
Hey. I thought I was gonna get cavity-searched.
He wasn't on the list.
- Standard operating procedure. - You can make it up to me.
Listen, I invited over a couple business associates for drinks and a photo.
Think we can get them past your storm troopers?
- Sure. - I'll see what I can do.
Helen's back here.
I haven't had a chance to say, you have a lovely home.
It's nicer when you don't have protesters...
...holding pictures of fetuses just up the street.
- I'm sorry for snapping at you before. - Completely understandable.
Personal embarrassment aside...
Embarrassment is when you nod off at a PTA meeting.
When cable news segments are devoted to debates...
...about whether you seem "whorey," I think we've upgraded to humiliation.
I was just gonna say, actually, it probably helps more than it hurts.
Makes you and the congressman seem sexy and hip.
Well, glad to be of service.
One of the reasons these stories may get so much play...
...might be because it's all the public knows about you.
You haven't really defined yourself.
- I'm not running for president. - With respect...
...we both know you're not that naive.
The option to be left alone took a hit when the congressman signed on...
...and got obliterated once he gained the nomination.
It'll be a distant memory when he wins this.
It might be time for you to talk about the kind of first lady you wanna be.
I'd like to help you with that if you let me.
I can't tell you what kind of first lady I'd like to be.
I'm too busy deciding if I want him to win.
- Eye contact on the monitor. - Points your punch.
- Look at Sullivan. - But don't stare.
- Don't look bored. - Even when he's boring.
- He'll be boring. - Hey, look at me.
- Gorgeous. - Get her away from me.
- Can't take a compliment. - They're ready.
- Go get him. - Good luck.
Hey, McGarry?
- You're smirking. - Yeah.
Good.
- You. Me. - Thank you.
Carciofi salad, shaved Parmesan.
- Little order envy. - Take it.
- No. - One-time first-date offer.
- I'd seize it. - "First"?
- Optimist. - Takeout dinner in your office.
You must be.
Hey, it started.
Mr. McGarry, your response.
Senator Vinick and Governor Sullivan oppose the Kyoto treaty.
They don 't want foreign governments dictating our emissions standards.
They oppose the International Criminal Court.
They don 't want a foreign body to have legal jurisdiction over U.S. Citizens.
But they apparently have no problem...
... ceding enormous unprecedented leverage...
... over our economy to bankers in China.
Our opponents evidently favor sending...
... even more billions of U.S. Dollars China 's way.
Matt Santos and I would bring that money back to our shores...
... for our citizens...
... and return control of our economy back home, where it belongs.
Mr. McGarry, next question 's for you.
Many Americans consider the vice president's role in succession...
... to be the most important...
Never said he was gonna gibber like a gibbon.
Given your medical history, why shouldn't voters feel concern about you?
By an overwhelming percentage...
... the first warning symptom of a heart attack is death.
I'm fortunate to be here. But it wasn't all luck.
I was the beneficiary of the finest medical care in the world.
Medical care available to me, to Governor Sullivan...
... but not to the millions of Americans with no or inadequate health insurance.
They have their noses pressed against the windows...
... of the world's greatest hospitals...
... best-trained doctors and nursing professionals...
... and when they most need, most desperately need their services...
... they can 't get in.
Matt Santos and I don 't wanna leave anyone out in the cold...
... if they get sick like I did.
I could kiss somebody.
We want every man, woman and child in this country...
- Or, you know, not. - ... to have full and equal access...
... to the first-class treatment that I firmly believe saved my life.
- He didn't answer the question. - Doesn't matter.
- Damn straight!
You said a swear.
Thank you. Thanks.
Thank you. Hopefully it didn't embarrass us too bad.
- Are you kidding? - Josh and Lou are in the spin room?
- You gave them a lot to work with. - Thanks for the help, everyone.
- Are you coming next door for a drink? - Soon as I scrape the makeup off.
You son of a bitch.
- Very nice. - You sandbagged.
Get a head start on that drink?
Didn't you?
You're not smirking.
- What was all this about? - The truth?
- Yeah. - I was really that lost.
- Oh, come on. - Couching answers in tame sound bites.
When Josh wouldn't show me that tape? Scared me to death.
- So I leaked it. - You did?
I was worried he was so worried, he wouldn't.
You called up reporters, said, "Hey, Leo McGarry here.
Letting you know, I'm one sucky debater."
I covered my tracks. I've been at this a while.
- Let a few think it was you. - Wasn't the voice a tip-off?
Not enough helium in the cosmos. So I borrowed your e-mail account.
- Excuse me? - Never use your cat's name...
...as your password. - I gotta get back.
- I just wanna say good going. - Got through it.
- You did better than that. - Never make me do this again.
In four years. Book it. I'll see you at the thing.
If you'll excuse me too, I have a password to change.
- So see you in Phoenix on Thursday. - I'll be there.
I hear that the hotel's got this waterslide.
I will pack a Victorian bathing dress.
- I meant for the... - I know what you meant.
It's not a good idea that they go swimming with the colds.
Yeah, probably not.
- I miss them like crazy. - I know you do.
I miss... I miss you too.
- I'll be there in Phoenix. - Yeah?
McGarry did all he needed to do: Exceed expectations.
How couldn't he, the way the Democrats spun the run-up?
And we fall for it every time, reviewing the spin instead of the substance.
Substance? In a debate?
I'd be surprised if this debate changed anyone's mind.
Well, arguably the best outcome for the vice-presidential debate.
At least, don 't send the voters running into the arms of the other guys.
- Bless you, sir. - Thank you.
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